Anse Tamara Gray on Accountability Partners & More...

I recently interviewed Anse Tamara Gray, founder of, she shared with me stories about how the Sahabah would support one another and how we can form relationships so that we can live in the shelter of one another.


1:10  Original blog post "Accountability Partner or Study Buddy, Which Do You Need?"

1:34         Is there evidence of accountability partners in Islamic history/Seerah?


3:54  Anse Tamara mentions the way Salman Al-Farisi held Abu Darda accountable when he was        becoming too extreme

Hadith from Sahih Bukhari:

Hadith no: 189
Narrated: Abu Juhaifa
The Prophet (SAW) made a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu Darda. Salman paid a visit to Abu Ad-Darda and found Um Ad-Darda dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu Ad-Darda is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world." In the meantime Abu Darda came and prepared a meal for Salman. Salman requested Abu Ad-Darda to eat (with him), but Abu Ad-Darda said, "I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat unless you eat." So, Abu Ad-Darda ate (with Salman). When it was night and (a part of the night passed), Abu Ad-Darda got up (to offer the night prayer), but Salman told him to sleep and Abu Ad-Darda slept. After sometime Abu Darda again got up but Salman told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salman told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer. Salman told Abu Ad-Darda, "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet said, "Salman has spoken the truth."       

4:34 What types of peer support are offered through Rabata?

5:45 The Pilgrims At Home Game, played during the first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah

7:10 Quran verse mentioning "racing" 2:148

8:27  Salawat Project


10:23 The Rise of Colleges - George Makdisi (pdf)

11:23  often when we think of learning we focus on the cognitive domain which  largely involves learning and applying factual information, the affective domain  that Anse Tamara is referring to involves attitudes and emotions and is more difficult to assess

18:12 How do we support & help one another if we aren't experts in Islam?

21:07 Sh. Abdul Nasir tells the story of Tufayl Ad-Dawsi in episode 51 of the Qalam Institute Podcast

24:48 A quick shout out to my accountability partner Sr. Khadijah who founded Woman by Nature a site that focuses on Holistic Health & Wellness for Muslim women, packed with great tips and beneficial reminders. Most women are unaware of the ares in which they may not be practicing good self-dear- mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and in relationships.  Don't miss out on the Complimentary Sacred Self-CareAssessment to discover YOUR self-care profile and receive individualized feedback based on your results.

25:19 Tips for Establishing Relationships to hold us accountable 


26:15 Anse Tamara mentions the hijrah of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab and his companion Ayyash bin abi Rabia, when 'Umar assisted his companion by offering advice, money, and finally after he returned to Mecca worrying about him and making du'a for him until he was able to reach Madinah. Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda tells the story of this hijrah in episode 74 of the Qalam Institute podcast. 


30:27 Should we be making du'a for our accountability partners?

Have you had positive experiences working with an accountability partner? Please share in the comments below!


  1. Jazakillahu khair my sister, a really reflective and beneficial post, may Allah SWT help us all to develop such relationships and reach out to strengthen and enhance our communities, aameen